I was looking at nostr.wine and other paid relays, they seem to be perhaps slowing getting there. I'm not sure it's better than running your own relay at this point though.

But say you had this special relay, but also wanted the public ones, it's not clear to me how to direct the note to the special one and not the public ones etc...

Perhaps amethyst can do it, it is the emacs of nostr clients.

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I only meant it for global feed to be usable. If you go to the global feed of that relay, no statists nor spam should be there.

Of course the way Nostr is designed the notes will be rebroadcasted by clients, etc