I used to work with my father. Sometimes the people I worked with didn't know this. They would speak I'll of my father because he was always pushing them. He was no one to mess with. I didn't need to defend him. I would just laugh.

Later when they found out I was his son they would speak differently.

Of course after years of work they would no longer censor themselves. Why should they? They knew he was fair. He paid well but he would always push for more.

Many of those guys became superintendents themselves as they grew older.

If you can discriminate between bad mouthing and blowing off steam you will be successful.

Still it is good if someone disparages a person you know to listen to the whole argument and then when the person is finished let them know that you see a different side of the same person and inquire as to why the other person feels this way. It may just be anger. It might not even be personal. Once the demon is released it has less power.

Good post.