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OK so where's a trustworthy place I can wager bitcoin that Elon gets rekt by Zuck in their fight?

I think every bookmaker will have it tbh.

Zuck has a headstart in terms of technique, but I’m going underdog Elon here for sure

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Elons a fat fuck and will get his ass kicked

Highly likely

He’s work ethic is second to none, and he has a better build for this.

Early underdog on Elon will have the most skewed odds