This was enlightening. Turns out the real solution proposed to CSAM by knots people isn't "our filters will work" it is "we are all just going to trust MARA and Cloudflare (or whoever MARA is using for scanning) to do the real heavy lifting instead of solving our own problems"
If you really think trusting an unknown 3rd parties black box scanner is a valid solution I don't even know where to begin.