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# CONTRATO MATRIMONIAL ENTRE O HONRADO GAK E O GENITOR DE LADY SOPHIA
À Vossa Magnificência, que gerou e moldou com zelo e disciplina a virtuosa nostr:nprofile1qqsfujjjw3474zsrfcqhcgqavqeesd4h0nuxt0ue5ugy9y7e47xyh3qpz4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduhsz9mhwden5te0wfjkccte9ec8y6tdv9kzumn9wshszrnhwden5te0dehhxtnvdakz748t750, venho, na qualidade de aspirante a genro, servo das boas intenções e holder de bom coração, formalmente solicitar a honrosa concessão da mão de sua filha em matrimônio.
CLÁUSULA PRIMEIRA – DO DOTE
Como prova de minha nobreza de espírito , comprometo-me a ofertar, de forma generosa e irrevogável — salvo nos casos citados a seguir — o montante de cinco (5) Bitcoins, devidamente armazenados em cold wallet.
A entrega do dote ocorrerá em momento oportuno, preferencialmente após testes de integridade moral e avaliação visual em três ângulos (frontal, lateral e perfil moral).
CLÁUSULA SEGUNDA – DAS CONDIÇÕES DE RESCISÃO E REVOGAÇÃO DE COMPROMISSO:
Fica pactuado que, caso se verifique, por qualquer meio divino, humano ou ginecológico, que a supracitada dama:
a) Não se encontra em estado de pureza original (isto é, não virgem de corpo); ou
b) Apresenta proporções que excedam, em volume adiposo, o que Gak considerar digno de ser carregado em seu coração;
O presente acordo será considerado nulo de pleno direito, retornando os cinco Bitcoins ao ofertante, descontadas eventuais taxas de humilhação pública ou memes já produzidos.
CLÁUSULA TERCEIRA – DOS DIREITOS CONJUGAIS
Declara-se que, à semelhança dos bons costumes, Gak terá o direito de aplicar punições físicas à esposa, desde que:
Não a torne inválida;
Não interfira na produtividade doméstica;
CLÁUSULA QUARTA – DO USO DE INSTITUIÇÕES PROFANAS PARA ASSUNTOS DO LAR
Se Lady Sophia ousar recorrer à Delegacia da Mulher, ao Procon, ou a qualquer outra instituição pagã que interfira na soberania do lar do Gak, este contrato será imediatamente revogado por ofensa à honra do mesmo e profanação do sacramento.
Neste caso, os cinco (5) Bitcoins retornarão à wallet do Gak, acompanhados de uma nota pública de retratação assinada com lágrimas e emojis de arrependimento.
