Here is everything I will be doing to raise healthy & happy children —

• No 💉

• No iPads (we are an Android household)

• No showers

• 100% Carhartt clothing only

• Drink only beer and wine

• No snacks that have artificial dyes in them (red 40, yellow 5)

• Breastfeeding Dad for as long as possible

• Homemade cigarettes

• They will be homeschooled

• Organic produce only

• Exposure to nature & animals early on

• Barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen whenever possible

• I will ground them every day

• No niggers allowed in the home

• Tooth free fluoride paste

• Racist podcasts at bedtime

• No unnecessary non-Whites

• No chemical filled cigarette filters

• All nicotine remedies as much as possible

• Absolutely TND in their rooms