How can I tell if I’m paid up on certain relays? The DMs sketch me out.

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Same. It’s low risk at current rates but at some point it’d be nice to verify those “pay me” bots.

Tend to agree, feel like clients could do a much better job showing this aspect of relays, whether it’s fully paid for, a subscription (and how long it is) or whether it’s free with optional premium functionality

Doable, and not currently done on Damus https://github.com/damus-io/damus/issues/509

I usually just put my npub in the invoice screen they provide and if you are paid it will tell you that you paid and all set

Some clients let you see bytes transmitted by relay. Not a perfect indicator, but zero bytes transmitted could indicate a need to renew.

Good idea