The awesome part is that you are already as forgiven as you will ever be. Christ’s work on the cross is fully allocated to you and you are adopted as his son. As a beginner, you are just a beginner in the process of sanctification (becoming more like Christ) and that process is ongoing your whole life. I’ve been a faithful Christian 40+ years and every time I think I’m close, he pulls back another layer and instructs me to begin anew. The journey is the destination, enjoy the journey! 🚁😁