Replying to Avatar Lyn Alden

I go to NYC several times per year for one reason or another. For work, for friends, etc.

Part of me likes it, but part of me gets fucking frustrated multiple times per day every time I am here. (Sorry, this is a Nostr Lyn post).

There are plenty of neat things in NYC that I can’t do at the same scale/quality elsewhere in the world due to the network effects around the city (broadway shows, financial district, etc), and yet after a day or two all I want to do is leave. It feels claustrophobic on multiple fronts.

People all have different vibes but for me, major cities are fun to visit but smaller secondary cities or suburbs around cities are so much smoother to live in. I can’t imagine living all the time in a major city.

The same applies to Cairo, to which I have been in far more total days than NYC. I like Cairo’s satellite cities but not Cairo itself other than going briefly.

Every time I am in a major city I am immediately reminded of the luxury of space, nature, quiet, parking spaces, and chillness of not being in a city. Everything I take for granted normally is now a luxury to fight for in a city.

Even politics are largely correlated to urbanization. If you live in rural or suburban areas, you likely drive around in your own car, you might have some land, etc. Your interaction with the local government exists in a moderate sense. The potential weakness is that you are more likely to always be around those who are similar to you, which minimizes your worldliness.

In contrast to all that, in major cities, everything is so tightly packed, and people rely on public transportation, and even a momentary lapse of government services (eg trash collection) becomes an acute catastrophe. But on the beneficial side, people are around those who are different than them more often, which breeds worldliness.

That’s why I tend to like the zone between rural and major cities. I like secondary cities or suburbs of major cities, because I get a bit of both worlds. The density and interconnectedness of major cities briefly, and the space and self-autonomy outside of them most of the time.

And yet I was born and raised in that sort of inbetween state, and so maybe it is just my upbringing.

What about you? Can anyone sell me the idea of NYC or other major cities that I am missing, especially in the remote work era? I see glimpses of how it could be attractive if you are used to it and know every detail of your neighborhood, but it really does feel limiting to me.

I feel similarly, which is why I live on the outskirts of one of New Zealand’s secondary cities.

Christchurch is not a hub for anything, but there is enough of the conveniences of a big city along with the excitement, social and cultural aspects, without ever really feeling claustrophobic. Even though it has population of 350,000, the feel is much more like a large town than a city. And there is this sense of interpersonal harmony as a result.

I went to college in the US and would spend summer holidays in NYC. The thing that stood out to me the most was the palpable tension in the air. You could feel the distrust and hostility people had for one another, and saw it displayed in a myriad of ways (constant honking, cutting people off in traffic, yelling obscenities, not making eye contact, not moving to the side to pass one another on the sidewalk, throwing trash on the street…). The level of inconsiderateness was staggering, as was the seeming lack of personal responsibility.

Just being in NYC for several weeks, I could feel it beginning to impact my psychology. Perhaps there is something about living like caged rodents in such a densely populated area that warps us and makes us more callous as humans…

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