I think this had to do with one of the relays I was subscribing to. My mistake for not starting smaller.
Discussion
ambition is not a character flaw
the go-nostr library is a mess, i've fixed most of it though i still have some odd quirks in the relay client code, been working on that a lot recently
i will be releasing things soon, just came back to coracle and it has this stuff working so i'm gunna use it, stay tuned