I've also noticed some more subtle things. Like, Catholic men tend to let women just say whatever and aren't as strict about clothing, (outside of Mass) without getting upset or acting threatened, but they're stricter about what they allow women to actively do or where to go.

So, they seem permissive to non-Catholic men, but you can see Catholic womens' lesser freedoms in statistics.

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Really. I'm in my 50s, Church of England but went to a Grammar school (not Catholic but ran by catholics). I don't see what you describe. Of course I'm not in your church, rarely in mine these days, though!

The mild have mostly left the Church. Going to Mass every Sunday says something about a person, now.