Not your keys not your coins!
Cool.
How come its cost so much to move my money?
You need to manage your UTXO nostr:note15ddeeqgq2wxrds86zq6s8avh6nv2hn7nf3gu4l4cpmnkrgytuy0qy4648q
Discussion
Are there good tools or wallets that automate this when fees are below a certain threshold?
No. (I haven't found anything)
I am using blue wallet and it does a good job of showing utxos and being able to select each as needed. I consolidated into a single utxo after seeing everyone talking about utxo management.
The general consensus is at least 1mill sats, it's easy to move. I over consolidated and now my address has 1 larger utxo which shows me as a single target.
I now am changing my thinking moving from exchange as a dollar value to a sat value, it's a balance of risk & risk mitigationion that I aiming for. I am still learning, but not your keys not your coins is a catchphrase and misses nuances that I have not heard a sole talk about.