That doesn't add up though. Well, not in my head. There's a diagram in this thread that shows what could be but not what I seem to be witnessing

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Did you try? It's simple physics and geometry.

No, I haven't a candle or a darkened room but I understand what you are trying to convey. All I am saying is, that the room would represent our solar system. For the experiment to work the candle would have to be the largest thing in the room, the moon would be a pin head, the earth a pea and I can't stand on a pea

By the way, what is simple about physics?