nostr:npub1jlrs53pkdfjnts29kveljul2sm0actt6n8dxrrzqcersttvcuv3qdjynqn

i've been working on a secured relay chat text interface, i think it solves your issue more cleanly and without nip tweakage:

https://github.com/nostr-protocol/nips/pull/1079#issuecomment-1991351929

yes it could include adding an private/internal reserved kind number so you can store your ACL change events as events in the DB and not make your relay more complex with more configuration files