I've been in a state of grief for as long as I can remember. I've only ever used proxies to true self determination. Ever searching for someone to blame. A cause. A reason why. Bitcoin and Nostr are tools that I have used to begin to get out of this self-induced internal hellscape. My child. My wife. They have been the catalysts for change. Only I may be the motive force. I choose to take responsibility. I choose freedom.