But I do have my Nostr notes and events inside a private database. 👀

I think it depends. Unlike bitcoin there is no global consensus so someone spinning up a relay and posting a TB of notes has no effect on anyone else. So i think there are some interesting things that could be done on private relays that share among specific people and groups. . And i think as long as youre not spamming these events to public relays nostr is your private database with a common API.