Subnostr

my parents are happily married and I was a maniac in my teens

its not all about the marriage but it surely has a big impact

Yeah, same, but look how stable we now are, and what good choices in partner we've made. We grew up around people modeling a way of life that is very difficult to recreate, unless you're raised in it. It's a complex social system and everyone not raised in it, has to actively attempt to reorganize their brain and body, to achieve the same thing, whereas we can sort of slide back into it.

This is something whose impact tends to be felt in the long-term and can only be measured demographically. Because, after all, would you have been _even more of a maniac_ if your parents hadn't been married? The statistics suggest: yes.

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franny 1d ago

yes you have a point. Its about teaching values, sure a single mom can also teach you certain values. I also have many friends that don't believe in a good love because they have seen their parents fight and fight. I'm also really glad that I know they are there for me and have a place for me when everything is going into the wring direction. really grateful for that... 🫶 also I think its crazy how some single moms raise their kids without the support of their own parents and grandparents.

Laeserin 1d ago

Yeah, some kids don't even know a single happy couple, anymore. If they want to have that, they have to completely guess about how to do it, or read magazine articles, or hope that their other half has a clue and can help them. Everything they know is basically hear-say.

You can actually see this online, with people going overboard on some sort of fairytale-perfect social media family stuff. Real-life married families are more complex, but they don't know any.

franny 1d ago

another thing that really gets more and more common (again, idk) is poly relationships. they search a more or less stable partner, and after a while they ask if they want to have an open relationship. Picking out the best from everything. pretty interesting to watch. they may be happy but idk. I'm glad to be special for someone.

Laeserin 1d ago

I don't really see the point in those relationships. It's like a nonstop orgy, but without the fun.

Laeserin 1d ago

They will also always suffer from the limited selection. Not needing to share you partner is a true indication of quality.

That's why men with many wives typical give the inheritance to the children of the first wife: she's usually the best match. Anyone willing to marry him, after her, knew she would be sharing, and did it, anyway, as she isn't good enough to be that sort of man's First Wife. And the 13th wife is probably just someone he dragged home from the bar. 😂

Laeserin 1d ago

Single moms can _teach_ you those values, but she'll find it difficult to _model_ them in their daily life. Children learn through observation.

Laeserin 1d ago

It is also a problem that is exacerbated by the sheer number of single moms, because that means each of their children has a lower number of married families for reference.