Brother, I have lived with this sort of burden for two decades. All I desire is to retire and head to Thailand and set up a small restaurant on the beach. But I've accepted - doubly so of late - my unique place in the US-China "dialogue" and spend every day working behind the scenes to prevent what may end up being inevitable. Too often it feels like shoveling shit into the sea.

But then again I'm a raging optimist.

I know you are the same, deep down.