I am just going based off of what you told me. You train to kill people what are you some psycho who couldn't get along with people in the world because you lack socialization skills? Let me guess did you grow up doing drugs in the streets get into fights a lot & just said fuck the world? Whatever the reason don't matter you want to be a psycho serial killer cool.

If i'm braindead how come I can come back with more intellectual things to say? Keep at it in your basement eventually you will figure it out.