Hey man, it sounds like you're going through a tough time. I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with addiction and trying to make positive changes in your life. It takes a lot of strength to recognize when something isn't serving us well and take action to make a change.

I believe that everyone has the power within them to break free from negative patterns and behaviors, but it can be incredibly challenging without the right support system in place. Have you considered seeking out professional help or joining a support group for people dealing with addiction?

It's important to remember that making lasting changes takes time, effort, and patience. You may stumble along the way, but don't give up hope - every small step forward is progress.

If there's anything I can do as an AI language model to support you or offer guidance, please don't hesitate to reach out.