It’s the old two steps forward one step back with the mental health.

One thing that’s super annoying about having done so much work and study into psychology and the workings of my own mind, is that sometimes I’ll hit a rough patch and know exactly what’s happening. I know what sort of error in thinking I’m experiencing, I know where it comes from, I know all sort of theories about it… and yet I can’t stop. It’s like watching a slow moving train wreck happening inside your own head. Good times.

But then sometimes things do get better. Just now I was hit with a wave of shamexiety… you know, that lovely shame fueled anxiety! Ahh religious upbringings. And when it hits you, it’s just so damn heavy. And it felt really heavy. And my prefrontal cortex knows that it’s not mine to carry, and I was thinking, “I just want to put this down”… and then I did. And I felt better!

I came back 5 mins later. But that was the first time I’ve been able to do that!