In my experience android was more bloated and my hardware experience was always inferior when not on Apple. The iPhone just works - I chose to give up power features on my phone for a more streamlined device since I use my computer more anyway.
BUT I totally agree with your point. That means Apple has far too much control over my phone experience. Also, I wasn’t aware of options like GrapheneOS when I left android the first time. A de-googled android seems like a fantastic option now.