In my experience android was more bloated and my hardware experience was always inferior when not on Apple. The iPhone just works - I chose to give up power features on my phone for a more streamlined device since I use my computer more anyway.

BUT I totally agree with your point. That means Apple has far too much control over my phone experience. Also, I wasn’t aware of options like GrapheneOS when I left android the first time. A de-googled android seems like a fantastic option now.

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Yes, try a Pixel with GrapheneOS (paradox!), probably it will change your mind.

However any mid-high model with a clean custom rom should work fine.

That’s what I’m thinking! Currently researching the available and upcoming pixel models and trying to get myself over the mental hurdle of switching - even the little things like iMessage are surprisingly hard to leave behind. Will be well worth it in the long run!

Absolutely; iphone does just work (provided you know the arcane and secret never-taught 'language' of gestures, pauses, directional swipes and incantations to get the flashlight on) -- at the expense of complete access and control to all content, location, speaker, mic, etc. -- There's a reason journalists with sensitive meetings/interviews are/were often told NOT to bring Apple devices ... because even if the journalist is agreeable to 'discretion' the device itself ...often will blow cover/broadcast/record etc. --- Apple owns whatever that device does and where ever it goes.