One summer, in my preteen years, I was smitten by a boy named Sam. He liked me back. We were in the community swimming pool after the sun set. I can remember the thoughts of nervousness about kissing him. I didn't end up doing it. I was so mad at myself. Then a year or two later he told me he knocked a girl up. I was so innocent. I always wanted love. Sex is great, but not without that feeling like you matter to someone. That is very important to me.