Nostr Web Client

“Just be yourself” is some of the worst advice, and yet so often parroted.

If you want something from someone, be the person they want to give it up to.

I thought it was interesting how she said to "lean into" what he finds attractive about you, and behave that way in an exaggerated manner. If you're sultry, act more sultry. If you're elegant, act more elegant. If you're cute, act cuter.

It had never even occured to me to think about what he found attractive. Or that there was anything about me, in particular, that he might find attractive. I was always trying to figure out why he married me, despite my being generically unnattractive.

Complete reframe. Assume he thinks you're attractive... start from there.

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Discussion

jimbocoin 🃏 1y ago

Another generalizable gem:

“Maximizing your attractiveness is now a moral imperative, regardless of the means employed.”

This is well established advice in industrial as well as user experience design. Beautiful products work better. People are willing to forgive a lot of buggy behavior from their Apple products because they’re pretty.

Laeserin 1y ago

And it's a form of harm-reduction.

If your lover is tempted to watch some cutesy AI girl giggle and bounce across the screen, you can do him a favor, put some pigtails and a naughty schoolgirl outfit on, go crazy with the blush, and bounce around the bedroom. 😂

And then he gets a real Happy End, so everyone wins.

Mens' revealed preferences in the digital world is information women can use to make themselves more attractive in the real world.

So, we can close the attractiveness gap with some Girl Game.

jimbocoin 🃏 1y ago

“Beauty isn't a game with rules. But if it were, "cheat to win" would be good advice. Anything less is an unforced surrender to genetic luck.”

atyh 1y ago

this idea, reasonable at first, has reached mythological levels unicorns and snake oil salesmen could only dream of.

Laeserin 1y ago

Yes, but female attractiveness has been largely unaffected by it. Oddly.

Completely backward.

Just try to convince women to ask their husbands how they should cut their hair. They be like 😱

jimbocoin 🃏 1y ago

“Men's beauty advice is sometimes hard to distinguish from sabotage.”

That’s because men want to be a source of good feelings and will try (often unsuccessfully) to say what they think will make you feel good.

It’s hard enough to make a woman happy without bringing the truth into it.

Laeserin 1y ago

Yeah.

Men also don't realize that womens' self-image doesn't always align with mens' opinions of her appearance.

Self-esteem has mostly to do with how many friends she has and how well she's been treated, and so on.