I can spell. It's theae God damn tiny phone keyboards and auto correct. I'm a man! Whoever designed these tiny ass phone keyboards for tiny ass delicate baby sized fingers needs to be found and told they are a freak and to keep their tiny little fingers to their tiny little selves. Whoever designed autocorrect for phones and just stopped after doing 10% of the work without finishing? The same guy who decided that if the first letter is wrong but the entire rest of the word is right the stupid app wouldn't be able to tell the ****ing difference? I hope they get the worst case of hemorrhoids ever recorded in the history of mankind. Like Anakin Skywalker crawling away from the river of magma burning alive with not just absolute physical pain, but the overwhelming omnipresent mental anguish of knowing your life has inexorably changed. Centered right on their asshole. I hope it never goes away. And on leap years. On February 29th I would bake them a cake celebrating how there was one extra day of pain for them to experience that year. But I would make them sit down without their hemorrhoid donut to blow out the candles.