Putin:

“Dear Americans, let me begin with my thanks.

You are a great people — the greatest!

I am a war criminal.

I bear responsibility for hundreds of thousands of deaths.

I order the bombing of civilians, the abduction of children, and the torture of prisoners of war.

I seize my neighbors’ lands whenever it suits me.

I meddle in your elections, have opponents eliminated, and flood your networks with disinformation and propaganda.

You know all of this.

And yet, when I come to your country, the red carpet is rolled out — and your president applauds.