I gotcha. But with independence comes mistakes.

We have 5 kids - never a curfue or 'rules' - we ALWAYS said, "You do what you think is best, and if you are not sure, be sure to ask (or you many lose your car if you mess up)!"

Absolutely - independence does not equal correctness, but you have to give people the ability to make mistakes (and if it's your kids is SO HARD).

Our youngest is 21 this year, oldest 2 girls are Chemical Engineers, then a teacher/business owner, then two boy Engineers (Materials and Electrical). So instilling this independent thought, and then shutting up when they made non-life threatening mistakes, was critical to their success.

Which is critical to all our success!

I guess we were on the same page to start! :-)