> you cant tell the real receiver of a monero tx *at all*

You can

That is how the Columbian guy in the attached video got caught

Chainalysis asked Morphtoken what address they sent the monero to and Morphtoken could give them a straight, honest answer -- because in monero you can just do that, you can log who received the money

In lightning, you can't, because (1) the pubkey in an invoice never even receives any money, it's only used for communication (2) it doesn't tell you what channel or htlc actually received the money (3) it might not even belong to the recipient thanks to trampoline routing