this can be solved by paid relays automatically whitelisting all of the follows of subscribers and clients publishing events to all of the user's follows relay list.

a lot of the issues you talk about can be solved with relays, clients even can be quite dumb. actually, the whole original idea of fiatjaf that relays should be dumb and clients smart, is upside down. the relays can be a lot smarter if you give them info to work with.

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also, this is why i have talked about the concept of "directory events" which should be broadcast to every relay. follow lists, mute lists, relay lists, profile metadata. if these were propagated by relays to peer relays across the network this information would always be available for these solutions

Agreed.

Except that I prefer smart relays (or more broadly → server automation) to overlap with specific goals or niches.

Communities typically have one clear and defined goal / niche.

Individual profiles typically want to engage with a whole bunch of said Communities + have their own specific goal for their personal server.

I don't want to oblige all profiles to care, pay for and set up their own relays that play nicely with the outbox model.

indeed, what i described is for a decentralised distributed global forum like kind 1/1111 based discussions

communities and groups don't want to have interlopers. this can all be controlled on the relay side though, with some small elements in the client (like disabling outbox, for example)

Yes :110percent:

i think the thing here is that you probably need to make clients specifically for this kind of purpose. they will be more focused on forum and chat, and have stronger moderation systems than an open town square style social media client.

i know that building clients is what you are mainly into, so that's on you :)