Me: I’m done with men. I have been celibate for 5 years, and extremely relieved to have lost my desire for men with menopause. If I ever have an intimate relationship again it will be with a woman but I am basically post-sexual so I don’t really know how that would work. The biggest problem is that I still notice all this pressure to be in some kind of sexual relationship, like I am supposed to want that and something is wrong if I don’t.

Everyone: You are lying to yourself. You obviously want a man.