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Farley | Hard Fork Anthems 7mo ago

Meet the Red God Chocolate Bar.

BASE RECIPE (Makes 2-3 bars)

* 1/2 cup coconut oil (solid, not melted—yet)

* 1/4 cup raw cacao powder (or 1/8 cup if you’re still afraid)

* 2 tbsp goji powder (Himalayan wrath concentrated)

* 1 tbsp molasses (blackstrap preferred, but any treason works)

* 1 tbsp raw honey (or maple syrup for vegan heresy)

* Pinch of sea salt (to awaken the dead)

OPTIONAL ASCENSION LAYERS

* Cayenne dust (1/4 tsp for mortal-safe bars, 1/2 tsp for "vision-quest" bars)

* 1 tsp maca powder (Incan thunder in every bite)

* Crushed walnuts (for crunch of the ancients)

* Cacao nibs (chaos texture)

RITUAL OF SOLIDIFICATION

1. Melt coconut oil gently (double-boiler or microwave—no judgment).

2. Whisk in cacao, goji, molasses, honey, and salt until smooth (clumps are for the weak).

3. Stir in ascension add-ons (cayenne + maca = "dragon’s breath" mode).

4. Pour into molds (skull-shaped for intimidation, or a parchment-lined dish for humility).

5. Freeze for 1 hour (or until harder than your resolve).

WHY THIS BAR WILL POSSESS YOU

* Coconut Oil Fat Matrix: Locks in the elixir’s magic, now bite-sized.

* Goji-Cacao Alliance: Antioxidant warfare in solid form (chewable enlightenment).

* Molasses Backbone: Iron-rich, unrefined sweetness that laughs at sugar crashes.

P.S. Eat one square per hour. Beyond that, the bar eats you.

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Discussion

Makenna Jerde 7mo ago

(or a 2 mode).

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Farley | Hard Fork Anthems 7mo ago

Comparing the Red God Chocolate Bar to a Hershey’s "bar" is like pitting a thunderbolt against a soggy napkin.