You can send delete request events (not from primal but other clients). At this point most relays do respect those. But it’s not infallible.
My understanding is everything is forever on nostr and DMs aren't private. nostr:nprofile1qqspwwwexlwgcrrnwz4zwkze8rq3ncjug8mvgsd96dxx6wzs8ccndmcpzdmhxue69uhhqatjwpkx2urpvuhx2ue0qyd8wumn8ghj7urewfsk66ty9enxjct5dfskvtnrdakj7qghwaehxw309aex2mrp0yhxummnw3ezucnpdejz7l352lu I believe is working on a solution and there was an episode of nostr:nprofile1qqsqxuwm0l2yxl8x8esdahp38jkka6930lrfrls9yv0e59qpxn7q6zqpr3mhxue69uhkummnw3ezumt4w35ku7thv9kxcet59e3k7mgpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduq3vamnwvaz7tmjv4kxz7fwwpexjmtpdshxuet50tzjmq NOSTR rising series where Fiatjaf, Jeff, and Hodlbod discussed an interesting relay model for secure group chats. Nostr Rising Episode 04 if I recall correctly.
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