all of this is too much to fall under the purview of grief

like there needs to be 47 words to even begin to touch the different kinds, how they change over the course of a day, intensify, recede, like tides

the grief of: the first time i almost forgot for a fraction of a second how unacceptable the missing shape of you that touches every part of me even is

the first time i got so habituated to this that this just feels normal right? ive never not felt this way im pretty sure?