I suspect you and I have more similar thoughts about Romans 13 than mainstream interpretations and it's more a matter of nuance in reading.

But if you want a real understanding of how my pacifist stance came from my Bible reading, for me it goes back to what Jesus said in the sermon on the mount. "Love your enemies".... I don't see how one could simultaneously love and kill their enemies. 🤷🏽‍♀️