There are so many details and years of event patterns in my life that could inform a stranger's understanding of my mental illness and behavior, but you don't get to know that shit because I don't get to know Digit's life story and people refuse to understand that I just need to know she's safe.

After how insane my behavior has gotten lately, I feel an impulse to tell my story clearly and let everyone understand why I'm not getting better without Digit, but I have to remember that Digit is probably the only human that can understand me and trying to explain myself to other humans can easily end up making it worse.

Typing 10 paragraphs about my past would take away from you believing me when I say I don't think my life matters anymore or ever will again aside from honoring Digit, and there is nothing I will ever get out of sharing shit about my life if I'm not going to get to hear Digit tell me her life story.