>the more I’d rather die than go to work again the next day.
This is purdy damn normal. I joked once that eventually part of your soul dies, working...then you get over it.
>there is nothing about being alive that carries any value or meaning to me.
You need purpose. Or things you enjoy. For me it's hiking. It gives me drive to workout and gives me things to look forward to.
Things to work toward change you.
I like hiking but I don’t have the energy to do it anymore since the government pumped me full of anti psychotics. All I can do is sleep.
I used to have goals too, like property and a family, but they always seem to fall through, and I’ve just been thinking that it might not be worth suffering for anymore. I’ll probably never have a wife, or a family, or my survival bunker in the middle of nowhere. If I live I’ll probably be a lonely, miserable pod person eating bugs alone until I die.
