that's what I mean though.

On instagram if I sign up, follow nobody and don't follow tags I'll still see alot of different content from alot of different people. it feels like a chore to get variety on nostr which will turn away alot of casual social media users.

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Yeah, you wont get content forced down your throat here. Other platforms will show you stuff based on their algos and ad rev. Its a chore for sure compared to other platforms, but its the sort of "proof of work" this place is built on. In other words, its a feature not a bug.