My laptop is a Bitcoin? How do I cash in on the $100k or whatever?

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Have you tried shoving it up your ass?

I have not

Perhaps that is how the Bitcoiners became the way they are

If the encoded text stored on your laptop (or other device) has the correct sequence, then, yes, the device is the keyset that "is" your BTC and allows the public ledger to be changed in certain ways. Similarly, your car must have its components arranged in a very specific way for it to turn on and enter the roadway.

OK, let's say, Bitcoin is tangible and my laptop (with the correct key phrase) *is* my Bitcoin.

When I want to spend it do I ship the laptop to the seller of whatever I want to buy? Or is there a central clearinghouse that sorts through everyone's laptops and pagers and whatever?

You know the answer to that already. Cheerio!

In other words, you have told lies and cannot carry on.

No, don't think so.

If I spend something, I must part with it

Therefore, If I spend my bitcoin, I must part with my bitcoin

My laptop is my bitcoin

Therefore, if I spend my bitcoin I must part with my laptop

Do you agree with this conclusion? And if not, which of the two premises is false?

Pallie, I am all for Socratic dialogue, but I do doubt that Socrates was as prone to insult and micronit-picking as you. After all, it's said he had a lovely wife and he must have won her heart somehow, and given her a good bit of his time.

As to whether Bitcoin is real or imaginary, I am no longer convinced you even have a position on the matter. If you do, you haven't stated it.

My position is that computer networks, like the BTC network, and their components are real and have physical attributes though they are also defined by instructions and processes which cannot literally be palpated. Lightning and fire -- and life itself -- are also processes which involve matter, but are not strictly matter alone.