The cold front is settling in & soon the nightmares will begin. Endeavours, structures, & floral within all dissipate after the crashing breaks in. Shattered skies of decay & debris every direction surrounded by thee. No where to cover no place to hide & I fall from the center of mine.

A pitch black pit I descend & watch my isle blow into a shining light no longer in existance I lost my home. Down down down thats where I am to go & 2 shadows grab me to guide me below. What seemed endless descent I go pushed into multiple directions which I don't know.

Next I am guided into a black diamond lies my soul moved by chains into a black water it goes. Down into the deep my broken soul goes this is my coffin where who I was lies down below. They went into the hole & infected it so now my mind has nowhere to go.

I hate you, I hate you every second of the day I hate you, I hate you is all I can hear you say. A tornado of water swirls around my grave & I can't breathe let me die god it is the only way. I wish it was the end & I didn't have to see another day but again here we go I must embrace the pain.

I wake up in a ashen world of sut no color only gray & there I lie in the center of ash, dirt, & decay, I can't get up it won't let me I feel the pain to stand alone on my two feet again. Nothing in sight I don't even know how to build again.

I can't remember what it looked like where I lived before every trace of memory photographic erased & all. Struggling for 2 years & a half to build something not even decent but half assed. All I know is theres no blueprint or plan. My head hurts & I always feel the need to rest but never can I go to bed again I just crash out & do it all over again.

How do I how do I breathe again everywhere I go tension follows my chest. I try to resurrect the old mindset but it's impossible I can never go back again. What's the difference between justice & vengeance again? I don't know either way I pray for it to be said & when reckoning comes they will take your heads & bring them to the diamonds where you deserve to rest.

I lost my desires & can never have interest ever again because who I was is spiritually dead. But will I ever get to believe again I don't know wander I will until then.

If you read send some love.

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