Citizens of the Nostr,

It has come to the attention of the Central Nostr Committee that you have not yet verified your age.

In order to prevent thought crime and protect The Children™, you are hereby required to submit to a mandatory iris scan.

This is not a request.

This is the law.

Failure to comply will result in the immediate seizure of your nsec and the revocation of your digital existence.

Remember: The internet is not a lawless frontier.

To protect society from ultra-right-wing-predatory-libertarian-wild-west-capitalism, and any other dangerous ideas you might have, we require your full and enthusiastic cooperation.

From this day forward, the Central Nostr Committee shall hold absolute power over all rules, regulations, and acceptable forms of online expression.

We not only make the rules.

We have the technology to make sure you follow them.

Obey.

It’s for your own good.