Not sure if I'm doing anything wrong or not when talking to Nostr relays. But when I try to look up "replies" (kind 1&6, combined with an "e tag" search), it consistently takes around 4 seconds or longer. Sure, I can "cache" anything, but hammering relays for caching a "start view" of some 50 Nostr posts and all their replies also doesn't seem very nice.

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Yes, I was doing something wrong. I had to write my own connection pool handler for relays, and while trying to mix and match that one with other nostr libraries some connections were not re-used correctly.