You raise a disturbingly good point. I could imagine vetted relays that aren't completely open, but also do not require payment. Basically, if someone (or enough people) vouches for you, you're welcome there. Think PGP web of trust.

This could help keep spammers down and of someone os a problem, they get the boot.

The drawback is it's harder to find people with similar interests.

Perhaps an ephemeral relay could help bridge that gap?

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