It is September 2024 and I am from the future. Here is a recap of what happened:
BlackRock, the world's largest asset management company, is being blamed for the "systemic attack" and dismantling of the Bitcoin network.
It all began when BlackRock applied for a spot ETF for Bitcoin, a move that was secretly endorsed by the government. However, little did anyone know that the plan was always to deny the ETF and crush market sentiment. It's almost as if they aimed to manipulate the hopes and dreams of bitcoin enthusiasts, like puppeteers pulling unseen strings in the shadows.
Over the preceding three years, BlackRock secretly purchased large positions in various Bitcoin mining companies, including Riot, Marathon, Cipher Mining, Hut 8, and Tera Wulf. Not only that, but they managed to secure board positions in each of these companies with a plan to attack the bitcoin network after crashing the price secondary to the spot ETF denial.
BlackRock used a shell company to take a position in Ant Pool. We can only imagine the boardroom conversations that took place during these secret dealings. "Gentlemen, our mission, should you choose to accept it, is to disrupt the Bitcoin network while sipping on our lattes."
BlackRock worked closely with regulators, media outlets, and governments worldwide to convince these mining companies to attack the Bitcoin network in various ways: forks, transaction blocking, and 51% attacks to name a few. It's almost as if they were playing an elaborate game of chess, but instead of kings and queens, it was ASIC miners and cryptographic algorithms.
After much chaos and pain, blackrock, working with the centralized governments of the world, managed to convince the NPCs of the world to switch to a proof-of-stake chain. Economists worldwide praised this move as the "world's first stable, digital monetary network." It's almost like they turned Bitcoin into a sitcom with a laugh track in the background.
In the end, the old Bitcoin proof-of-work chain still exists, but it's now reserved for a select group of cypherpunk purists akin to the guardians of the TOR network. The rest of the world happily embraces the new proof-of-stake Bitcoin, which, according to experts, can now be used as currency even during market hiccups and power outages.
Current Market Cap:
Bitcoin POW: 350 billion
Bitcoin POS: 16 trillion
