actually, no, it's not nothingness. it's watching every dream you ever had die while someone mediocre and boring pretends to be you and laughs in your face because you're nothing. you'll never be on that stage, you'll never look as good as them, you will never even get the chance. and every time you fall in love, they'll ruin that for you, too. and it's just absolute loneliness from that point on. the harder you work, the deeper they dig your grave.

like. can someone just shoot me in the head already?