i think, this is my first time in months i broken up bad. i tried keeping up strong from days to days but i just reached a point of breaking up.

today is payday. people will be happy, but i cant. i just cried because debts keep piling up and no matter how much i pay the number just kept getting bigger.

my study is not progressing well either. assignments after assignments and then exams and research afterwards. sometimes i dont know why i further study anyway. i have to fork out a large amount of money for the fees and then what? i dont even see a clear future ahead.

and family commitment keeps getting bigger. i run around to attend to family stuffs and then when my wife get sick i cry all day because i cant be with her all the time because i have to study for the exam and she is alone in pain. i had to send her to her mums because if she deteriorate while i have exam there is nobody to help her.

i dont know, i just tired of living.