Well, her opsec probably wasnt perfect, and you seem to be the type who would save...better quality portraits of said infatuation. I have to toe the line, if you will, as a part of me is empathetic to your mental state, while the other feels its probably best to protect her privacy. I would strongly encourage you to find a counselor that can help you process and create positive habits. You're not crazy, but your emotions seem to have caused you to process these events as trauma rather than moving beyond healthy mourning. Having someone from the outside of your brain to help you come back to a safe place would have tremendous benefit.