damus reads your relays from your contact list and uses those. it does expect to find a contact list on the damus relay atm though. I will improve this in the future by allowing you to connect to a specific bootstrap relay on startup.
Discussion
Great, very helpful thanks! How does a relay know if it has the most current version of an identity? Is that up to the relay operator to merge/sync with other relays?
as long as you have the relays configured and then update your profile, all the relays your connected to should have the updated version. there are also people who sync events between relays, but this isn't spec'd or anything.