A lot of relays are behind cloudflare or use other reverse software that protects the server by rejecting connections such as VPNs and Tor among other things. nostr:npub16r0tl8a39hhcrapa03559xahsjqj4s0y6t2n5gpdk64v06jtgekqdkz5pl once shared this which explains how to update Cloudflare. (Forked to show updated UI)

https://github.com/sudocarlos/on-cloudflare

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Also we need more i2p adoption.

Any good guides on how to set up a reverse proxy on a vps or something to similarly achieve a public server

No. I struggle with that since I'm not good at IT stuff.

I should probably go through my relay list and remove the ones that use CloudFlare - and probably pay for ones that don't.

I totally understand its utility - and I get that info on relays is public anyway - but it's as close to just having the NSA run a relayer as one can get. Especially if you let them handle SSL encryption.

Another might be for relayers to offer a paid CloudFlareless option.

This would be cool