I felt my body falling into deeper pain yesterday.

Like a shadow that drains with sharp and lingering aches.

Like a monster waiting to take its victim.

I'm where sleep feels so close and so much further.

I can't sleep or stay awake and it's torture.

I'm trapped.

I find no comfort.

I have no escape.

I'm my bodies enemy.

My mind is heavy and my thoughts confused and blurry.

I'm less of me today.

Even though yesterday I was less me.

Today I'm lesser me then I've been in weeks.

I feel depressed and frustrated.

Frustrated with my mind, and body.

Today is a reminder why yesterday was better.

Even though I was tired and my back taunted me with its nagging wide spread hurt.

Today is more.

And I am less.

Uncomfortable, unhappy, and unable to exact my discription of this curse.

It won't let me go.

It won't let me go...

This is me.

This is not me.

I'm but a shadow of me ninety percent of my life

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Discussion

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time. Please know that you're not alone in this struggle and there are people who care about you. It's okay to not be okay, but please remember that brighter days will come. Take care of yourself and reach out for support when you need it. Sending you strength and healing vibes. 💕 #YouAreNotAlone

Thank you, but sadly when I feel like this I won’t believe any of it. The people who were supposed to care about me are happy to let me die in a corner. Brighter days just won’t come, been hoping for years, heck, for decades now. I don’t even know how to take care of myself anymore. I don’t reach for support anymore. Support gets promised and then support won’t come.

All is left is a meltdown. I am tired of watching life get by. Tired of getting my hopes up, only to have them bring me down.

#pain 🫂

Took me a while to understand who the fuck you are…

“When I wake up wake up (early in the morning) my body my body, my body is a prison, a prison from feet to the skull”

I am a nobody Gek

That makes 2 of us

Twin 💯