Look into alby hub connected to your own node
Discussion
I always wonder, don't I submit my whole transaction history etc on albys servers? 👀
Good question
The alternative is running nwc on node to send, use nostdress (either own or someone's instance) on a vps to receive. E.g with lnd or lnbits.
Unfortunately, I pulled this all off verbatim, but it's not for the faint of heart (yet). I also do believe alby gets your metadata to some degree with alby hub, which is why I stayed away for now. They said they'd remove the alby account stuff in the future; I don't see that happening.